The Great Mojito Crawl

So now that we've established what a good Mojito is, let's re-examine those other elements of Cuban culture that make us think all sexy-like: cigars and salsa music. Where best to get our Mojito/Cigar/Salsa freak on? How about back to the fatherland: Havana, Cuba.

Havana is the capitol city of Cuba and the largest city of all the Caribbean. You may feel like you're in a bustling metropolis in some parts of Havana, but when you're in "La Habana Vieja"� or "Old Havana,"� you're transported to a timeless era. The lush semi-tropical foliage, abundance of aging Spanish colonial architecture and the slightly rascally "let's party"� vibe that flows just beneath the surface of things might remind you of New Orleans -- Havana could very well be the older, wiser, more glamorous sister of New Orleans. But with salsa and reggaeton music spilling out of every window, older gentlemen in elegant white three-piece suits smoking cigars on sun-dappled park benches, and lovingly maintained American cars from the 1950s maneuvering down too-narrow cobblestone streets, you know you're in a different place altogether.

This writer was travelling with a friend in Havana in 2004. It was 2:30 in the afternoon and we felt like having a cocktail. A Mojito, to be exact. The "it"� Cuban drink. Why not make an event out of it?, we thought. Why not set out to find the best Mojito that Old Havana has to offer? How about we call it the Great Mojito Crawl? The rules were simple: one Mojito at each randomly chosen bar (no ordering Mojito pitchers allowed), with a short review of each Mojito recorded in our trusty travel notebook. Ready?

First stop: Café del Oriente. Overlooking Plaza de San Francisco in the heart of the colonial quarter, Café del Oriente looked like a grand colonial home with an elegant interior - lots of dark wood and cut glass details. A most excellent atmosphere for our first Mojito of the day. And how was the Mojito? Generously portioned and strong on rum but too tart. And the mint? Nary a mint flavor to be found in this Mojito glass. (The bar would certainly benefit from After 5's mint muddler and Mojito barware.) All in all, Café del Oriente's Mojito will certainly get you drunk but missed the finer points of what a Mojito can be.

Where to go for our number two Mojito? How about Dos Hermanos, a waterfront dive where one can imagine rubbing shoulders with salty sailors from the seaport across the street. Legend has it that Dos Hermanos is one of the oldest bars in Havana, opened in 1894 by two brothers from Spain. A traditional Cuban band played in the corner on our visit, and a sign over the bar proclaimed "El mejor de los mejores"� (The best of the best). Are they talking about the Mojitos?, we wondered. One could only hope. We ordered our Mojitos and watched the bartender carefully. He crushed the mint, ladies and gentlemen. He properly crushed the mint in the Mojito glasses. Maybe the sign was right! But the first sip told a different story. The Mojito was still too limey and had no mint flavor. No taste of rum, either. A disappointing Mojito overall (at least the band was good).

Third time's a charm or three strikes and you're out? We took our chances at Santo Angel Restaurante. Situated in a hotel lobby, the bar was quite swanky with yellow couches and a green floral motif. A live band played outside on the patio and a magician maked the rounds performing card tricks. And the Mojitos? In a word: Stiff. There wasn't much in the way of mint or lime in this Mojito glass. Just rum, and lots of it. While we can appreciate a bartender that pours with a heavy hand, this was a Mojito Crawl, dammit! We were determined to find a Mojito that not only gets us drunk but that embodies the perfect medley of flavors. Onward ho!

Our spirits undamped (and our heads buzzing) we proceeded to Café O'Reilly for Mojito number four. Café O'Reilly? An Irish bar in Cuba? An Irish bar in Cuba serving Mojitos? Must have been the previous three Mojitos that clouded our judgment, because we walked right in. Old-fashioned propeller fans created a charming atmosphere on the first floor. We took the wrought-iron spiral staircase to the balcony and found live music and a joyous crowd in full party mode. This place was hopping! Caught up in the happy (afternoon drunk) energy of our fellow bar patrons, we ordered our Mojitos with gusto, our taste buds yearning for the perfect balance of mint and lime. And the result? The first sip was a real pucker-upper. As was the second sip. And the third. It was the limiest Mojito of them all. If you ever find yourself at Café O'Reilly, we recommend you order a pitcher of beer, not a Mojito pitcher.

Four disappointing Mojitos later and now it was time to get down to business. Serious business. And when you're serious about drinking a Cuban drink with rum in it, a place called Edificio Bacardi (Bacardi Building) sounds like the right place to go, doesn't it? Edificio Bacardi appeared to be a non-descript office type of building from the outside. But once inside, a grand lobby with lots of marble gave way to a staircase leading to the bar, tucked away as if a secret. The bar itself had a slick art deco interior and a highly professional looking bartender. We placed our orders. The bartender immediately began squishing some mint in our Mojito glasses. We have a mint squisher! We exchanged knowing smiles, anticipating the sublime subtlety that is the well-crafted Mojito. We made ourselves comfortable in a wooden booth and took our first sip. Tasty, yes. We could distinguish the mint and the lime. The flavors were well-balanced. But after so many too-strong Mojitos and too-limey Mojitos this one tasted, well, weak. Our taste buds had been repeatedly assaulted by so many bad Mojitos that this one left us craving more: more rum, more mint, even a little more lime. More, more, more.

So we went out in search of more. And here was the sly danger lurking within the Great Mojito Crawl, ladies and gentlemen: the more Mojitos we sampled, the more Mojitos we wanted and the less astute was our judgment of said Mojitos. This can be explained mathematically: Mojito intake increases Mojito desire and is inversely proportionate to judgment of Mojito (or judgment of anything else, for that matter).

It was now 6:45 p.m. We had been drinking Mojitos for over four hours. All judgment gone, we careened into Bar Monserrate. There was a live band playing music ala the Buena Vista Social Club kind. And how were the Mojitos? They must have been good because we broke Great Mojito Crawl Rule #1: only one Mojito at each bar. We had Mojito number six here. And Mojito number seven. About the time of Mojito number eight, we added a Cuban cigar into the mix. Considerations of mint flavor and lime proportion were long gone. Observations of Mojito barware and Mojito preparation were out the door. We were on vacation in Havana, chomping on a fine cigar, hamming it up for the camera, being seduced by the sultry music, feeling on top of the world. The Great Mojito Crawl had pretty much crawled (no -- collapsed) to its finish.

Where's the best mojito in Old Havana? We couldn't tell you. But we can tell you that the hangover produced by eight Mojitos and one cigar is a most unpleasant one. We recommend that you purchase After 5's Mojito barware and mix up a Mojito pitcher of your own. Experiment with one of our Mojito sets -- you might come up with the best Mojito around. Just remember to drink responsibly.

Oh, and don't mess up the lime and mint, either.